From "Busy" to Flow

Many years ago after a few years of advanced training in *Humanistic NLP - I stopped using the word "busy".

I fully innerstand that indeed people are busy, in fact most people I know, including myself are busy --- and --- (notice I didn't use the word "but" that's another convo) I feel, sense, see, know and think there are better ways to communicate life's fullness.

*NLP - stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the 100's of techniques I learned are modelled after behavioural psychology and people like Virginia Satir, Fritz / Laura Perls and Milton Erickson and many more very successful, humanistic thought leaders. I don't always remember my tools, especially when things are hectic, I do at least try to choose my words and the energy behind them consciously as best I can.

Saying “I’m busy” suggests that I might be at the mercy of circumstances, rather than consciously choosing how to spend my time. Again, I know many of us don't have the privilege of time and choice. It's important to re-cognize that, well at least from aa From a NLP perspective being "busy" externalizes control.

When someone tells me they are busy, it often shuts down further dialogue instead of opening possibilities. It can sound like “I don’t have time for you.” I don't mind read it though. I sense into that person's lived experience and look at it from many perspectives. If that person continues to say it, I begin to wonder if they are over extending themselves. And oof, I've been there so many times. When I finally land, I come back to my center, do something grounding, and lately that has been gardening for me. Also, long gentle stretching and tuning into my breath.

Repeating “busy” reinforces a state of hurry, stress, or scarcity, even if we're actually engaged in things we love.

"Busy" doesn’t actually describe how we engage (creative, focused, flowing, committed, choosing, etc.)

Alternatives to “Busy” (Humanistic NLP-Inspired)
These words and phrases CAN shift the frame from scarcity (“too much”) to choice, presence, and value. You can flex them depending on tone: professional, casual, or soulful.

• Engaged ~> “I’m engaged with a big project right now...”
• In flow ~> “I’m in a flow with something at the moment...”
• Immersed ~> “I’m immersed in this work...”
• Prioritizing ~> “I’m prioritizing some things today.... ”
• At capacity ~> “I’m at capacity right now, and I want to give you my full attention later.”
• Fully booked ~> “I’m fully booked today. Are you open to touching back later this week?”
• Choosing ~> “I’m choosing to focus on ___ right now. How about tomorrow, what's your schedule looking like?”
• Deep in creation ~>“I’m deep in creation mode today....”
• Devoted ~> “I’m devoted to this piece of work (or a few projects) for the next while.”
• In the middle of~> “I’m in the middle of something important, can we reconnect at a later time?"

NLP Reframe Examples
Instead of:
“I’m too busy.”

Try: “I love the idea of giving this the attention it deserves. I’m fully engaged right now, so can we connect tomorrow / next week / this fall?”

“I’m choosing to focus on this priority for the moment. Let’s schedule time together when I can be present. Does that work for you?”

"Sometimes I like to say, hey call anytime, I will answer if I am available, otherwise, let me know what your week / month looks like and let's make a plan."

----- <3

Pocket Script for Replacing “Busy”

Step 1: Acknowledge

• Show you’ve heard them:
• “I really appreciate you reaching out.”
• “That sounds important.”
• “Thanks for thinking of me.”

Step 2: State Your Now (without “busy”)

• Choose a word/phrase that reflects your state of engagement:
• “I’m really immersed in a project right now.”
• “I’m prioritizing some things today.”
• “I’m at capacity and want to give you my full attention when I am able. Let's come back to this.”

Step 3: Offer Choice / Future Orientation

• Redirect the frame to possibility:
• “Can we connect tomorrow / next instead?”
• “How about next week / month when I can be fully present?”
• “Would it work for you if we set a time on Friday?”

Full Example Patterns
Casual Friend
“Hey, I’d love to chat. I’m immersed in something right now, can I call / text you (this evening) when I can be all in?”

Professional Setting
“Thanks for bringing this up. I’m prioritizing another timeline marker today (I loathe the word "deadline"). Can we touch base Thursday afternoon?”

Creative / Soulful
“I’m deep in creation mode right now, and I want to honour our conversation. Could we reconnect tomorrow when I can give it my full presence?”

Why It Works (NLP Layer)

• Pacing (acknowledgment): matches their reality.
• Leading (state your now): reframes “busy” into conscious choice.
• Future orientation: shifts from “no” to “when.”
• Language of presence: programs calm, grounded states instead of stress.

Quick saying you can carry with you:
“I’m not busy, I’m choosing where my energy flows.” or "I love how it feels to be in flow, accomplishing my goals with ease."

I recently taught a workshop at Wicked Woods Music Festival using some of this info above. We had some breakthroughs for sure. I love this work and ready to re-launch my sprouT.Love community on the Heartbeat app this fall/ winter, after the dust LITERALLY settles. Stay tuned! 

ReSourceFully Yours, 
~ Tammra