Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) presuppositions are foundational beliefs or assumptions that underpin the NLP framework. They shape how practitioners view and interact with the world and are instrumental in guiding behavior and thought patterns. Many of these presuppositions originated from the work of Richard Bandler and John Grinder, who developed NLP in the 1970s. Steve Andreas, along with his wife Connirae Andreas, also contributed significantly to the evolution of NLP. Virginia Satir, although not directly involved in the creation of NLP, influenced its development through her pioneering work in family therapy as did Milton Erickson, a Psychiatrist and Psychologist specializing in Medical Hypnosis and family therapy (and many more of course).

Here's a list of NLP presuppositions along with explanations and references to their origins:

Note: The full article is for my $5 and up Members on Patreon... come peep my Page - there might be something there for you!?
www.patreon.com/Tammra

Sometimes, the world throws shade. People judge, misunderstand, and gossip. It's easy to let those external voices drown out your own inner light. But as a holistic health professional, I want to empower you to do something different: let them.

Why Opinions Don't Define You:
In the realm of holistic health, we recognize the interconnected nature of mind, body, and soul. Our thoughts and emotions have a profound impact on our well-being. When we internalize negativity, it can manifest as stress, anxiety, and even physical ailments.

Scott's poem above reminds us: their opinions aren't your problems. When we grasp this concept, we free ourselves from the burden of external validation. It doesn't mean we become insensitive, but rather that we cultivate a strong sense of self-worth rooted in our own values, code of ethics and authenticity.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Reprogramming Your Inner Critic
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a powerful tool for personal growth. It helps us "innerstand" how our thoughts, language, and behavior interact. It's HOW we CODE our thoughts and memories. 

Here's how you can use NLP to first look at and the reframe those negative external voices:

• Reframing: Instead of "they're judging me," reframe it to "they have their own perspective" Or "I can appreciate their perspective AND I..."
• Self-Talk: Replace self-doubt with NLP affirmations like "I love knowing that I am worthy" and "I love knowing that my truth is beautiful."
• Visualization or Sensing: Imagine seeing yourself radiating confidence, shining brightly and / or sense into those feelings (and hold your own hand while dong this to anchor it in).

​Nourishing Your Authenticity Through Nutrition
What we eat can affects our brain function, mood, and overall well-being. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins provides the building blocks for a strong and resilient mind. Additionally, consider incorporating adaptogens like Ashwagandha, known for their stress-reducing properties.

Shine On: A Holistic Approach to Inner Strength
By combining self-compassion, NLP techniques, and nourishing your body, you build a super solid foundation for self-worth. Re-member, you are worthy of love and respect, regardless of external opinions. Let your light shine, because the world needs your unique brilliance.

Oh and one more thing, have you heard of Energetic Interference Removal? Well I took a course in March of 2023 and it changed my life. It's been the biggest catalyst for healing in my life to date. I integrate this into the many other modalities I offer or offer a single session just focused on this. I support you in removing a variety of metaphysical interferences including overlays, entities, etheric implants, cord cutting, contract deletion and much more.

Do you have any questions or personal experiences you'd like to share? Share a comment below!
​
Book a free complimentary call to see if this work resonates with you. 

April is here! As spring blossoms all around us, it brings with it a wealth of opportunities for holistic health and well-being. Here are a few ideas to kickstart your journey towards a healthier lifestyle this season:

1. Embrace outdoor activities: Take advantage of the longer days and milder temperatures by engaging in outdoor exercises such as walking, hiking, or cycling. Not only will you benefit from physical activity, but you'll also soak in the rejuvenating energy of nature.
2. Nourish your body with seasonal produce: Visit local farmers' markets to discover a bounty of fresh, seasonal fruits and vegetables. Incorporating these nutrient-rich foods into your diet can support your overall health and vitality.
3. Practice mindfulness in nature: Spend time outdoors to reconnect with the natural world and center yourself  by immersing yourself in the sights and sounds of spring.
4. Cultivate a garden: Whether you have a spacious backyard or a small balcony, gardening can be a therapeutic and rewarding activity. Digging in the soil, tending to plants, and harvesting your own produce can promote mental well-being and foster a deeper connection to the earth. You can also look at safe way to grow healthy food through a Tower Garden, which can be used indoors or outdoors. It saves on water and is great for small spaces.
5. Prioritize self-care: Take time to prioritize your mental and emotional health by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's reading a book, indulging in a soothing bath, or practicing creative hobbies, make self-care a priority this spring.
6. Look at safe ways to cleanse and detox your body. Incorporate more fresh vegetables and fruits into your daily diet.  Try intermittent fasting (message me for some excellent resources - I'll be adding these resources to my website soon) 

​By incorporating these holistic practices into your daily routine, you can harness the transformative power of springtime to nourish your mind, body, and soul.

I'd love to know what springtime means to you and what kinds of things you are getting started that bring you joy.... 

I've always had a passion for cooking ever since my early days working in a kitchen at the Zone Organic Market in Kamloops back in the early '90s.

Recently, I found myself with some tofu in the freezer that I wanted to use up. Having been a vegan/vegetarian for nearly 15 years (until a deer burger incident in 2007 – but that's a story for another time), I had accumulated some fantastic veggie cookbooks.

Being vegan taught me how to transform bland ingredients into delicious meals, which I still find useful today, even though I've incorporated meat back into my diet. Plus, when it comes to sauces, dressings, and marinades...

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*I am a wizard!✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

While I hardly ever consult my cookbooks for recipes anymore, I knew I'd find a great tofu dish in one of my vegan cookbooks. This time, it was the Moosewood Restaurant Daily Special Cookbook. It didn't disappoint! I followed the recipe, adding my own twist, and the result was fantastic.
​
I'll definitely be making this dish again – we loved it!

Adapted from Moosewood Restaurant Daily Special Cookbook - 1999

• Prep: 30 minutes (make ahead of time to let it cool)
• Serves 6 as a side dish, 3 as a main (with salad greens)
• Can be used as a sandwich spread or served on crackers 
• Cooked chicken can be substituted (although I haven't tried this yet) 
• 3 cups water 
• 1 teaspoon salt (I use Redmond Real Salt - I am an ambassador and can offer a discount code) 
• 1 cake of tofu, cut into 1/2 inch cubes (12 ounces) 
• 1 large carrot, peeled (if not organic) and shredded (keep the peel on if using organic) 
• ​1 small red bell pepper, seeded and chopped or minced (I used one large yellow pepper - use whatever you have access to) 
• 1 small green bell pepper, seeded and chopped or minced 
• 1 celery stalk, chopped or minced 
• 1 tablespoon fresh chives, chopped or minced 
• ¼ cup pumpkin, sunflower seeds (I used about ½ a cup of sunflower and hemp hearts) 
• ½ cup mayonnaise (I use veganaise because it's lower in histamines) 
• 1-2 teaspoons of your favourite curry powder, to taste (my favourite is by far Monsoon Coast - Moghul Curry) 
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice (I didn't have lemons so I used organic lemon juice) 

I added: optional 

• ¼ teaspoon of garlic powder - however I would have used fresh minced garlic if I had it 
• 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar (add at same time as lemon juice) 
• 1 teaspoon peeled grated ginger (used a parmesan grater and it worked excellent– add into mayo mixture) 
• 1 tablespoon of Bragg's liquid aminos (mix quickly into the tofu after it's been blanched and squeezed)
• ¼ cup nutritional yeast (you'll need a little extra water if adding this
• Next time I'll add a little bit of oil (cold-pressed olive, grapeseed or avocado) 

I will be experimenting with things like adding oil as well as other veggies like broccoli and other fresh herbs. 

Bring the water to a boil in a saucepan or pot. Add the salt, ease in the tofu cubes, and blanch for 3 minutes. Drain well (optional: can squeeze the water out with a nut milk bag / add Bragg's) and refrigerate.

In a serving bowl, toss together the carrots, bell peppers, celery, chives, and pumpkin or sunflower seeds. In a small bowl, mix together the mayonnaise, curry powder, and lemon juice. Stir the dressing into the vegetables and set aside in the refrigerator.

When the tofu has cooled, mix it into the vegetables and add salt and pepper to taste. Chill for at least an hour, to allow the flavors to emerge.

Serve on salad greens, if desired. I used fresh greens from our Tower Garden™

Last night I listened to an audio about acceptance and I was surprised that I wasn't in the frequency of this at all - and that I wasn't even proud of what I have done… I was in a "I've failed" and a “I’m sick” frequency. I have not been accepting my wholeness- my humanity, my Divinity!

I realized that in accepting my life and who I am right now in this moment, pain and all, is enough and what a beautiful life it is.

For the past 5 years it has been drilled into me that I needed fixing, I needed to try harder, I needed to hustle more and that my dreams weren't big enough if they didn’t scare me. And that I had to do this all with a false sense of urgency. Since health was not just a given these past 4 months- this urgency seems ridiculous to me. I know what real urgency is now. Finally, when I did put my dreams and goals to paper, I felt a constant pressure to make them real, and when I didn't, I felt like a huge failure.

Hey, I totally think having dreams and goals are awesome, but there was no plan for me other than to constantly try harder, no plan for me if I didn't make those goals (one of which was to retire my husband and another to open a school- um, yeah, I tend to think big apparently). Interesting that when I tried to go at it “harder” with more “urgency” my immune system completely collapsed. 4 months ago, my body and immunity started to fall apart.

I consider myself to be quite healthy. I eat well and take vitamins and practiced cleansing periodically. I did some exercise here and there and went for the occasional walk. I practiced affirmations a few days a week, at least. I didn’t realize until now though, that I had put a lot of pressure on myself to maintain my healthy image, and kept thinking, how could I be sick?

I had to take a real look at my entire life and the ongoing treadmill I was on. I wasn't tuning into my health at all-- I knew I had some issues (anemia, pathogens, panic attacks) … I really saw that I had no boundaries, that I set myself up to be on call 24/7 and that I needed more, more, more but I thought that it was just a part of life and the regular stress one goes through when running a home based business. And weirdly, I thought this was freedom because, well, I was making some decent money. Yet, I had no privacy and I was always on the go and I even felt guilty of my freedom and tried to fill my time with more courses, conventions, books and so on.

My friends and family were signalling to me that I had too much going on and yet, I didn't see them as friends if they couldn’t see that I had big dreams and my big big goals were important to the world. Thankfully, some of those people stuck by me while my illusions kept me in a me-trance.

And this was all taught to me... That, if I push now, I will be free later. I was told that my real friends would be the ones who pushed me harder, wanted me to succeed and that I should leave the other friends behind, who didn't get why I wanted to be so successful or if they didn't have the things I wanted (house, car, money, fashionable clothes, latest gadgets, big dreams...) then I should find people who do have these things and hang out with them. Ug, this makes me a little nauseous even realizing how damaging this has been and how I see and hear other people doing and saying these things too. 

I have even heard “leaders” say that they weren’t in business to make friends (yikes). I was told that I had to make sacrifices, like give up the things that made me happy, like dj'ing, going to festivals, or visiting with friends, even time with family, for the grind towards my big big big goals – my true-life purpose. As a side note- it’s important to know that I was then coached to put a dollar sign beside my big dreams and then asked why these dreams were important to me – which is a crafty tactic to get to my values (which, of course can be great to know and tune into) but the damaging part to that scenario was making my life purpose about money. See, this is why sales and / or convincing tactics or strategies can be scary in the wrong or inexperienced hands, because those people don’t actually care about (or are conscious of) the consequences of their actions… because, well, these tactics work. Sadly, they are't yet aware how just a few words can ruin a life or trigger someone into a downward spiral.

And hey, I've stopped blaming other people, because they really thought they were helping. I had to forgive myself too, for allowing it. Blaming others or myself is low level energy, it’s heavy and wears a person down. It's completely useless.

Apparently, I was quite desperate for rich, successful, popular people to like me… and that is ok, I'm human, but let’s face it, it’s not healthy.

I know this is my life and no-one can make me do or be anything. 

I am quite passionate about intervening this programming, this is a big part of what I teach - so, the wild part of this, is that when I was making the money, I was unconscious to my previous training on convincing strategies... although every now and then I would catch myself saying, "hmmm- something about that feels off. Oh well, push through it, shake it off, you're getting closer to that cash reward".

What?

Here's what I know to be true: without health, all the money and things are useless anyways right? The things I owned didn't make me feel better, I couldn't take trips anymore and the debt from high taxes and unpaid credit cards caused even more stress. I could hardly walk up the stairs, my body was swollen and I couldn't sleep due to heart palpitations so forget about crafts, parties, dj'ing, conventions and so on…

I always trust the process of life and what is meant to be (or at least try to the best way I know how). I also know that I am influencing my reality through my choices, my thoughts, consciously or unconsciously. I know there are still old stories and traumas playing out, old beliefs that are looping and that there is work with do there and I also stay open and flexible to how and when, and surrender to the rest. I have also decided that boundaries work best from a place of compassion and rootedness and I give myself a few moments or more, before responding to an email or saying yes or no to an invite. 

So why am I sharing this?

To say that there is such a thing as burnout, and there is such a thing as adrenal overload and that the constant fight to be better, prettier, smarter, wealthier, skinnier and have more "freedom" or "have it all", is an illusion and is exhausting. It can lead many people to feeling less-than. I see now how this has been programmed into us. It seems bizarre to me, that even people who don't run a business, feel the need to brand themselves or display their lifestyle on social media and we’ve become what our social media feed says we are- rather than person to person conversations and gathering for purposes other than hyping a product, business or recognition. Yes, I know, it’s all business. There’s got to be more to life than business (busyness) though... ya know?

I have heard top income earners say, "it's lonely at the top".  You've heard that too right? I'm not making this up right? What does that mean? This is programming at its best. At the end of the day, do these people love themselves and would the people who "follow" them, be by their side if they lost everything? I wonder.

The thing that has allowed me to feel happier and feel joyful again has not been my rank level, more "likes" on Facebook or Instagram, more money or having the latest gadget... it's been loving hugs, genuine heart to heart visits, random-for-no-reason-phone calls, text messages just saying hi or checking in. It's been slowing down and taking care of my own health and filling myself up with love, forgiving myself as well as being in nature, looking at the grandeur of a tree, mountain or river . I was just always "too busy" for that stuff before. And ehemm, I don't have children, so really, what is my excuse? As I type this, I remember friends and family saying they didn’t call because they felt they had to book in an appointment. That was true! That is what I was taught – schedule everyone in. While I get that we all need boundaries and space and some sense of organization, I see now that when it comes to family and friends, a random call or visit is such a gift. 

I found it very interesting that when I made the statement that I could no longer be of service to the people I have been working with for the past 6 years and some of them 10 years, that called me a friend, I have not heard from again. Yet, the people I was so ready to toss aside, have reached out and have truly been there for me, because well, they know me. It's all very humbling, and I know and trust that my decisions to make life simpler and commit to some deeper, yet less *exciting* (a word I am presently avoiding) practices, are not only bringing me authentic joy, they are saving my life. My life and even my body look very different from just 4 months ago and I am very ok with slow.

I have a few daily and weekly practices for self-love and care that are non-negotiables now, like: stretching at home, meditation (close eyes, scan body for tension, focus on breath - that's it), NLP & hypnosis, walks in nature, slow cooked meals... I know that if I don't find ways to preserve and restore my energy, that I am no good to serve my true self, let alone, serve my family and community. Which is why we are all here right? To co-create? To grow ourselves and to make memories with our true loves? I don't see how life could be fulfilling without true, authentic relationships. 

I am grateful today and every day, for the small things, like toilet paper and food in the fridge and a cozy bed and well... breathing is cool. I am in awe of the bigger things, like having a car (I almost cry every time I get in it lately because I took it for granted – and by the way - I practiced my gratitudes every day before this – so go figure!), having a husband who is willing to listen and who tries to understand what I'm going through, and that we have a roof over our head. I slow down and become conscious of my breath and get snuggly with my cat, Ivan, when I notice tension in my jaw or my head feels spinny (oh hi there oxytocin). 

Moments with family and friends are beyond precious to me now. I am in love with each morsel of food and glass of water that goes into my body. I am living the life I have always preached about and even though there is a ways to go again with my career and my health…

I accept myself wholeheartedly for who and what I am today.

Say it with me: I accept myself wholeheartedly for who and what I am today.

Re-Source-Fully Yours,
Tammra

I was so entrenched in my own healing that I forgot that I was called to an interview on a radio show / podcast back in September 2016 that wouldn't air until January 2017!

It's been kind of wonderful and inspiring to hear how passionate I am about NLP. I also speak to what intuition is and my experience birthing a conscious festival. 

I hope you enjoy this interview with Richard Dugan on his show "Tell Me Story" 

Listen

Whoa- has this seemed like the longest of winters or is it just me? I don’t recall a time in the past when I have heard of so many people being repeatedly sick, feeling quite alone or disconnected, or many, who are used to doing the deep personal work, hitting all-time lows. I also saw much disharmony coming up around relationships and families. Of course, I did see a quickening when the political landscape changed quite drastically and I saw how it sent a pretty significant trigger throughout most of the world. A wake-up call most certainly.

For me, this has been the toughest 4 months of my life as I faced a total immune system crash and because of that, a total life reset on all levels. I have been a lover of the mountains for most of my life, so winters had always been my favorite season. I always loved the idea of hibernating, hearty soups and stews, playing in the snow and warming up by the fire. And even though I could do some of that, my health begged me to stop everything to rest and nourish my body and mind and tune into my soul. I felt as though I was losing everything including my “identity” (hello ego), and I had a less than easy time being grateful for what I had right in front of me.

The more I wallowed, the worse my symptoms would become.

I felt knocked-out. Souled-out. Left-out. Just out of it completely, until I could hardly walk, my body swelled up, my bones and muscles were aching so bad and for the first time in my life I could not go to sleep because of scary heart palpitations. I was sure I was dying. So, I started with a few simple nutritional changes, I intervened my Facebook addiction, I quit my many jobs and removed myself from titles and roles completely. I had to, I was in no place to be holding any kind of space for working with others and their ailments and anxieties. This was not only humbling, it was fundamental for me to heal, like for real, heal myself. And heal I did. I am sure there will always be more healing and more love to receive.
 
I now have a very different perspective on why the winters of my life are so important and just how much I am going to appreciate and welcome in spring this year. Winter brought in the slowness, the deliberate and the things I simply could no longer ignore. Never have I looked at the darkness in my present life, in my past, in my family lines and in my future, so willingly, so observantly, so compassionately.
Never have I prayed for light and love so resolutely. Winter has taught me to check in with myself and become quiet and listen. It taught me to create sacred space in all areas of my life (indoors – ie kitchen Altar and outdoors, i.e. connecting with the roots of trees and the cleansing power of water). It taught me the incredible value of creating healthy boundaries, not just through words and actions explicitly, but rather, by simply cultivating self-love first, check in with my state and my values, and THEN decide what to do next from THIS place in my being, dropping from my mind to my heart. Easier said than done by the way!
 
I have learned to be gracious and kind with myself as I learn from the “mis-takes” that have brought me to this moment on my timeline. I am “real-eyesing” that if not for this fertile darker season to really decide what authentic soul-based values guide MY life, how I want to feel and that I have choice in that, I could not truly be appreciative of the lightness, the playfulness and the creativity that is slowly and quite gracefully, coming forth through the warmer temperatures, the sunshine and the longer daylight hours. I am sensing that it would be most wise to be even more aware and present to consciously propagate Acknowledgment and Gratitude BEFORE the coming gifts of Spring arrive. This is the wisdom of The Gardener, is it not?

So, what things can I do to build, nourish and sprout my winter prayers into joy? What values, feelings or states can I anchor into first, before reacting or responding to my environment? Is there left-over stuff that can be composted from my previous Soul-Gardens? What specific seeds are being called for right now?

Dear Spring
I call to thee
Sunshine
For my soul
Rain
For my pain
Love
For my heart
Forgiveness
For giving
Gratitude
For all that is

This is one of my favourite topics. Cravings. You can guarantee that once you have decided to make a change in your eating ways, in your your health, you will likely become acutely aware of your cravings. Cravings for healthy food can indicate a more alkaline body. Intense cravings for salt, sugar, deep fried foods, caffeine and dairy usually indicates that the body is more acidic and may require some rebalancing. 

Often we are too busy to hear these subtle cries or whisperings from our body.

Our bodies are wise beyond our knowing and creating time to listen will be well worth it, I promise. You’re worth it. (<<Tweet)

Cravings are beautiful messages from our body and instead of the typical avoidance and / or succumbing to cravings- this is the best time to slow down and have a conversation with it / them. Here is something you can try- on more of a subconscious, intuitive level....

​You can ask these questions internally on the fly, and ask for signs, you can close your eyes and go that route OR you can take out a paper and pen and start asking questions…

First get grounded, big breath in and remember- whatever comes up is ok- let it rise up and out without judgement. Be kind to yourself.

Close your eyes and ask…
 
* Why do I have this craving?
* What is the message for me from this craving?
* What can I begin doing to fulfill this craving in more healthy ways for myself?
*  Is there anything else that would be helpful for me to know about my craving now?
* Thank you.

OR You can even write a letter to cravings: “Dear (your craving)”… “From (your name)”. Then, flip the page and write a letter back! “Dear (your name)”… “From (your craving)”.

I guarantee you will be amazed by the wisdom of your body and your own intuition.

ReSourceFully
​~ Tammra

​As I looked through some of my books that focus on 2017 and allowed my intuition to guide me, the word “Leadership” started to show up. So, I sat with this idea for a few days. Then I heard “Self-Leadership” ringing in my ear and this truly resonated as a great theme for January.

These past few weeks I have been practicing a lot of extra self-care. A lot more than usual, as I tend to be an over giver - over-achiever and have been reclaiming my boundaries BIG TIME again. I realized this action of reclaiming my boundaries is an act of self-self-love and very much an act of Self-leadership. I didn’t know that "Self-Leadership" was a thing and did a little research online. I have posted the definition from selfleadership.com below - and because of my work  - my goal is to expand this into an applicable and experiential practice using the tools and skills that I have developed over the past 20+ years as a holistic health practitioner. Even though there is a pretty comprehensive definition below - my goal is to grow this into a deeper body-mind-soul interpretation.
 
Definition from selfleadership.com:
 
Self-leadership is having a developed sense of who you are, what you can do, where you are going coupled with the ability to influence your communication, emotions and behaviours on the way to getting there.
 
Self-leaders have a drive for autonomy, can make decisions, are more creative and persist, even in the face of adversity.
 
Some of the intentional behaviours that characterize Self-leadership are; self-awareness, self-goal setting, self-motivation, positive self-talk, assertive communication and the ability to receive and act on feedback.
 
Self-leaders utilize strategies or rituals, to align their intentions and actions to achieve success. Some of these strategies include:

• Reflecting on intention to achieve focus
• Clarifying what they are responsible ‘for’ and what we are accountable to?
• Becoming the author of the inner narrative to tell an empowering story
• Confidently taking action and seeking feedback
• Communicating authentically to achieve win/win
• Being mindful and managing emotions
• Influencing through understanding the intentions of others

 
Now there is a lot of juicy goodness in all of that. Most of it I agree with for sure - and I can see there is so much more room to play.

Here is what I would ask of Self-Leadership based on the definition  above:
 
“Who we are” is not our behaviour. Our behaviour is not who we are. Behaviours can be changed. So, the question is: who are we? << Tweet This?   
 
I personally don’t believe we “are going” anywhere. Yes- there is a process and from my personal experience and working with people for many years, I have observed that:

The subconscious mind does not know time. Time is a conscious concept. >> Tweet This
 
How do we access our own “drive” aka drivers? How can that be helpful? How could that be cautionary and why would that be important?
 
We make decisions unconsciously from the time we are babies. Beliefs are born from those decisions. So, to me, this means:

You decided who were you were going to be long before you became it. <<Tweet This

Did you know that we are 100% unconscious until about the age of 7? If we can access and find those old outdated decisions aka beliefs, we can transform them into more useful knowledge about ourselves and this can allow us to step into new actions more ease-fully and confidently.
 
Self- awareness is certainly the key. How do we get into that space of seeing or sensing ourselves? That is where I dig a little deeper - and how do we do this safely without triggering old trauma? One way is to put a picture or whatever you are sensing out in front of you - look at it - look at yourself and the others in this picture. Disassociate. You can try shrinking the picture and moving it away from you or even put it on a shelf for later. This is a safe way to deal with things until you are in a more grounded, supportive space to learn from it. 
 
When it comes to communication we can be clear and assertive yes - but how it lands for another person could be a much different scenario. Are you prepared for what comes back? I love imagining all scenarios - the good, the bad, the ugly and how would I deal with each of those situations? It’s amazing how a conversation can go - when you are prepared for anything to happen and be totes-ok with all of it.
 
Sometimes persisting, even in the face adversity, isn’t the best solution. Every situation and solution is going to be unique for each person. It really all depends on a person’s ethnicity, upbringing and more. I do my best to see the perspective of the other person before I make a comment or give feedback. First and foremost, I do my best to ask permission first. This has got to be one of the biggest keys to communication ever (think triggers, safety, boundaries)- it goes both ways and even the smallest invasion of someone's privacy – can unleash chaos. Just ask! “Is it ok to give you feedback?” “Is it ok for me to send you a link to my products?” “Is this a good time to talk?” – Social media and texting has completely derailed us when it comes to the intimate art of privacy – here is a way to build trust again in your relationships. Hey, by the way, I am not immune, we all do it. It’s simply a practice to begin now – asking for permission is HUGE! Try it on... it feels pretty rad. 

Probably my biggest lessons these past few years have been:

• to do research on people before allowing them to coach me (have they had results with others, are they open to an interview) - and look closer at how the relationship started in the first place (did they even ask my permission to send me their info, did they genuinely get to know me...)
  
  
• listen more closely to my intuition and be more aware and ask questions when I see a “red flag”
  
  
• create stronger boundaries that focus more on self-care than anything else and knowing it’s ok to make it all about me occasionally (as in- say "no" and also be ok with creating full on self-care days just for me).

… and this has all led to me being a self-led leader in my own life.
 
Hey- I just noticed this: Behaviours = Be-Hav-I-Ours (interesting) 

Anyhoots --- 

If I can do this - so can you. I love this work. And this work loves me. This work can love you too, if you let it.    

 The turning colours of and the falling of leaves, cool weather, rain and sometimes even snow in some areas, can represent change, letting go, slowing down, harvesting, showing of true colours and even death and it's not always so easy to adjust to... ​

We go from hot days and light meals to cooler, wet days and begin to crave more grounding foods like root vegetables. This transition, if not done gradually or at all, can bring the health out of balance. 

We all love the vibrant colours of fall and some even say it’s their favourite season. We hang on to the last bit of energy we have from the summer sun, yet soon enough, there comes the grieving of summer OR the “off” season blues, before the bountiful snow of winter. It can seem too long of a season for winter enthusiasts and some people get bored or sad.

Maybe I can help a wee bit …

New Ideas
This can be an exciting time for new ideas, mostly because now we don’t have parties, sports or beaches to occupy our time. I recommend letting these ideas swirl through and around you first before getting started on them. Then, choose the ones that inspire you most and let these ideas seed and incubate. I tend to think all of my ideas are good, so I seem to learn this lesson of slowing down and percolating on ideas first, less than easy. As we all know, if we don’t sync with the season and cycles, we can burn out which can lead us to getting sick, which forces us to slow down (or stop) anyways. But at a cost. 

Slowing Down & Letting Go
Letting go is never easy. Trust me, as a childless-only-child I tend to get attached to people and ideas pretty quickly. My nature, like most women, is to want to help, fix, give and nurture and when I can’t “make" something work, it can be frustrating. Once faced with some nasty experiences- we learn quickly that letting go is really about survival. So, how does one “let go”? I see too many people look outside of themselves, or needing validation or permission from others to let go, step into or change their own lives. Well, if this is you- I grant you permission now! Gently release ties with people / and things that suck the life out of you and find YOUR groove again. Start a meditation practise (try Insight Timer - so good), pick up an old hobby or start a new one - like journalling or painting, sign up for stretching / trauma informed movement class (or begin a home practise), try a conscious dance class (aka intuitive dancing) OR try it on your own - turn your favourite songs on and up and boogie like just can’t boogie no-mo’ or you may even want to let yourself dance slowly. Un-bored yourself. Break the rules… OR simply rest. Change is the theme, flow WITH it and don’t be attached to the outcome. This is a beautiful time to experiment and Invent YOUR own way forward. 

Harvest & Hibernate
Even if you don’t have a garden, you can begin to get into the harvest mood. Start collecting recipes, bring out your winter clothes, look through local markets / craft fairs to find a new sweater or maybe some toasty-warm slippers and while you’re there, pick up some local vegetables, tonics, herbs and jerky. Start collecting pinecones, cedar or river rocks and place them around your home or hey, try making a smudge stick and burn it. Being out in Nature, even if it’s raining, can allow you to be slow, get some fresh air and maybe receive some inspiration. If you can make a fire, do it. Prepare to get cozy for winter and treat yourself to some warm and hearty soup, hot drinks (try a turmeric latte) and warm baths. Look into spices and essential oils that connect you more deeply with the season. Get to know you and practise gratitude most of all. 

True Colors
This isn’t always a negative by the way, although this time of year seems to make us more emotional and vulnerable and not everyone deals with it well. This resistance to the new season, can lead us to feeling stressed and make us less than desirable to be around (aka being a grump). I truly believe that if we can let our expectations go, like shedding a layer of skin (slowly, like a snake), then we can consciously move into this season and then into winter more ease-fully. Shedding the old and letting your true colours shine, can allow for new relationships, ideas, jobs, adventures and this can show us new things about ourselves.

I have suggested a lot of new ideas here, and some may be out of your comfort zone or maybe you are already feeling overwhelmed. For the go-getters or extroverts, maybe slow it down and take things off the to-do list (ehemm, that’s me), choose one or two things that resonate deeply and focus inward. For the slow movers or introverts, try something new or work more closely with gently facing a fear, something that may have been holding you back. Either way, let the darkness in, embrace it, because without it there is no light. And, always,  all-ways, be kind to yourself in this process. 

Tammra Broughton is the founder of The New Groove Revolution. She can be found working magic in her pa’jammies from her home in Comox, BC, treating herself and her beloved Tony, to delicious (and yep, healthy) foods, and / or dj’ing and dancing  to her favourite tracks. 

This rocks.

I always say - if I am not with happy how I am, how I look, RIGHT NOW and it never changes, than I will waste years feeling like I am never enough. I have worked with many people in my practise, who have eating disorders and who are very hard themselves. I have even had clients that look like models, with even worse beliefs about what they should or should not eat and how they should or should not look. It saddened me deeply when I came upon a young woman's belief that everything she eats is bad.

It's not what we eat, it's how we feel about what we eat. Last night I got a decaf pumpkin spice latte. I was feeling unwell and wanted a treat. When I was done, I felt a little gross and guilty. I sat with that guilt and had a real moment with myself. I didn't dismiss it. I sat with why.

It's not what we look like, it's about we perceive ourselves when we look in the mirror and how we think others see us in the world. I have been standing naked in front of the mirror lately and giving myself love front and back side! I have been walking around the house naked too. I am not saying you have to do this to feel beautiful but things get real when we aren't decorated. I Give myself big hugs. I have noticed that since starting this my man is now more attracted to me. He definitely likes the walking around naked bit. I recently put on weight due an illness, and was feeling bad about it... I simply got real with myself, allowed myself to heal and stopped trying to fit into what I think I "should" look like. I am in my 40s and my body is going to change. I now approach eating and fitness from a much different place- which actually, I have been working on for years... more of a becoming conscious of and letting go of rules.

I feel that if one feels the need to constantly defend that they love themselves, how they look (albeit we need to express this every now and then to teach our youngins') it looks to me like they are defending- which I am hoping we will hopefully begin to move past as a culture. If we are good with how we look, how we eat and how act in the world, there is certainly no need to advertise or defend it again and again. Just be wicked and the confidence and strength will shine through in everything we do.

Stand a little taller in your space- stand strong, speak honestly, show yourself eating whatever the heck you want to. Smoke in public and don't hide it in photos... Be your goofy self. I am a ham and it's no secret. This is me. Tam-ham.

I used to hide all of this (when I entered into entrepreneur land and became visible again) and now I look at a photo and say: Oh look at my awesome double chin, look at my healthy voluptuous body, look at how freakin' happy I am. I am owning it. I am grateful. Really. Life is a gift. May sound fluffy but that is how I feel. Sure, I might have a little pity party every now and then, but I get through it and celebrate the goods things more often now.

​Love is such an all encompassing big ass word. I believe love is the good, the bad and the ugly. Love is all. When people say it to me, something happens deeply within. I start to trust them more, I feel like I am needed and that I belong, I become incredibly loyal and seemingly, will do anything for them... And this has sometimes come at a devastating cost.
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Then when the person who has told me they love me, does something that seems like such a low blow, seems so wrong, so hurtful with no regard for the consequences of their actions I literally go into a state of shock and confusion and sometimes self hatred.

I know we all go through this and do this to each other. I am certainly not immune to having reacted poorly in a situation and trust me, I have dealt with the consequences of that a few times. It sure does suck.

I have been looking at my past friendships a lot more closely lately. If I feel that maybe things ended prematurely, friends who I may have hurt and am really doing my best to pick up the phone or meet with them belly to belly, saying I'm sorry, let's start again. Not everyone is ready, and some have not responded and that is ok. If something should happen to me, I at least know I tried. This is really f*cking hard by the way. So I get it if you haven't done it. It means swallowing your pride and defying everything your ego is telling you to do. I go to my heart and I listen to her and get into a state of, well, LOVE! Try it. You'd be surprised what happens when we think and act from there.

Since starting this way of reconnecting, a few relationships have healed, friendships have rebirthed and the love has been reseeded and is growing again.

I get that we all have ways of protecting ourselves and ways in which we are most comfortable communicating. Some people will hide behind their computers, some will write letters that they can proofread and some will block us out completely. That is ok. Again, I have done this and still do, it's away of protecting themselves / ourselves /  myself and everyone needs time to process.

I have also come to realize that I am being a little more discerning as to who is really using the word love from a place of honesty, truth and power versus, neediness, fear and loneliness. I don't judge, I am simply choosing to be care-full as to how I internalize it. I ask bigger questions now and I decide if someone is truly a friend by their actions towards me. Actions speak so much louder. I am a coach and I deal with people's very vulnerable places, so I want to be certain that I am with a friend or a client, and sometimes yes, it is both but I am definitely being more aware of when someone is using me and when, as Carolyn Myss says, acquisitioning my energy for their own gain:

1. Is this person selling something to me?
2. And do I actually need it? 
3. Is this person wanting to give equally to the friendship / relationship? 
4. Is this person in constant crisis and could this be a draining relationship?
5. Can I set a healthier boundary with compassion?
6. Is there reciprocity?
7. Does this person have safe and healthy boundaries in THEIR life? 

Unless they are my client - and willing to work through these things - there are now some very clear qualifying factors in my friendships now. And that is just. The. Way It. Is. 

Love can be many things and I have learned that for me, LOVE IS COMMITMENT.  It couldn't be more clear to me than that now. 

I have seen some amazing turnarounds in my life recently and I truly believe all relationships can be healed. Both people are required to do the work. That's the only way. If that isn't happening then as much as my inner only child needs people to like and love her, I must make an adult, wise mama decision to have and keep healthy boundaries or end the connection completely. Either way, all ways, it is for LOVE .

❤️ Love IS the Miracle.
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ReSourceFully Yours,
​~ Tammra

I used to do everything to avoid being afraid and it would often lead to me not doing things. I know there are others who are letting fear stop them from living the life they love and doing things they would otherwise love to do. I get it. I went through paralyzing panic attacks. I have been to the hospital with my body completely seized up from fear. I hit my rock bottom. I surrendered.  I have found ways to move through this fear safely and I continue to prove to myself that these tools work. Yes, I carry anxiety medication in my purse and there have been times when I thought I would need it, instead I used my tools and I didn't need it.  In 2011 I gave up alcohol completely (and everything else went along with it: smoking, smoking weed, recreational drugs). I have never needed to drink to dull the pain again. If you suffer from anxiety disorder or panic attacks, I know what you are going through or if you know someone who needs this kind of support -- connect with me - I can help. 

ReSourceFully YOURS
​~ Tammra

I was fascinated by the doors in a very tiny fishing village that Tony and I visited, with his Family, called Sisal, Mexico. I used a Samsung 5 Galaxy Phone and multiple camera apps such as Cymera.

I always learn from every situation. I have taught myself to do my best to remain in gratitude no matter how upset, hurt or angry I feel. That is after I yell, cry, scream and channel the anger out of me. It's not easy. It's humbling. The way I react or respond to any given situation is where I really see my character. My growth. My constitution. I have come a long way from blaming everyone else for my problems and have come a long way from constantly beating myself up too. For me, the best place to go is inward. 

I don't play games (ug, how people love their games, and most often, unconsciously) or get caught up in other people's drama but that doesn't mean I don't see them hurting or scared. I have been there too many times in my life not to empathize. I grew up in total chaos and only knew this way of life until my mid 30s. If I am capable, full and strong, I will do my best to extend help (if asked for), stand up with or for them, but if someone isn't willing to receive the help or isn't willing to do the work to face their fears and unravel and forgive the truth staring them in the face, it's not a good use of my time to try and keep helping them. I will listen and do my best to see their point of view but a true friend or mentor won't enable. It's a fine line. 

We all go through this. Every one of us. I hear this kind of stuff from my friends and clients almost daily.

It's astonishing to me how many people will say that what they feel "isn't theirs" or how their dis-ease or illness is not theirs... My perspective, and I speak only from my own experience here, is that when I don't own or at least look at what is showing up for me, I will forever be dealing with it. When I own it or look closely at it, I can then control my choices around it. I can dive deep into the unconscious triggers around it, I can release the ghosts from my past...

We can all be free from addiction, we can be free to choose a new story, a new perspective on life... A happy and purposeful ending.

I have often heard that people quit right before their biggest breakthrough. In the past 2 weeks I have almost thrown in the towel a few times (regarding a huge event that I am curating)... when this thought occurs I remember the times when I landed in the hospital with every muscle seizing due to sheer panic and fear... I then remember the journey I went on after that, the self doubt, the confusion, the wondering where my strong rebel-self had gone. This journey took me so deep into darkness that I almost didn't find my way out. It led me to surrendering completely and I learned about unconscious belief loops, deep rooted patterns  ... the more I asked questions about these things the more I realized that I was part of a cycle and it was time to end the cycle. 

Last night I couldn't sleep and it led me to finding a core belief in the grief and loss department, that, through muscle testing apparently, I didn't believe anymore. The phrase went like this: "Even though I have grieved what I lost, I know that a greater good will follow." I was sad that my body was telling me that I didn't believe this. I muscle tested quite a few times as I was a little shocked. So then, I applied something called Psych-k (NLP psychology kinesiology) on myself (using the new direction balance) and within minutes I felt a softness flowing through my body again. I could breathe more freely. I could see how fear was creeping in and blocking my ability to believe that greater things can come through endings. I have been here before and I trust the process wholeheartedly. I can do this. I am pretty sure I slayed a dragon last night...

​I'm living a life that I only once used to dream about. I am in a happy marriage where I feel loved deeply and in harmony with. I have a loving relationship with my close family, I make a pretty decent income that far exceeds what I ever ever thought possible and my businesses are continuing to grow and thrive. I'm able to travel, see new places, meet new people and I have an amazing group of friends who believe in me, support and love me, don't judge me, even when I make mistakes and we are always willing to take care of each other… 

But my life wasn't always like this… 

In 2006 everything in my life fell apart. My, now ex-husband, was in love with someone else, I felt like I had very little in common with my community (although that did change) and I was feeling extremely alone and lost. It was during this time that I really questioned where I was going with my life and who I was going to live it with. The stress of an impending divorce, triggered unresolved trauma from my childhood and things started to spiral downward very quickly and I hit a rock bottom place. I had even contemplated ending my life. I tried to resist what was coming up and this led to drug and alcohol abuse which then led to even more self-hatred (because I was a holistic health practitioner!) I started blaming everyone around me and even started blaming my family and upbringing for my circumstances. During this dark time I remember throwing my hands up in the air and yelling out "Why am I here? What is this all about? Show me what I am supposed to do or I am out of here!"

That is when I got a sign. I received a phone call from a colleague who I had never met, and she told me that I could be living a much simpler and happier life just by tapping into a larger community of health and investing in a holistic business model that was about personal development as well as pouring greatness into others and lifting people up. Even though I had a habit of being quite sarcastic, I was always quite open to new ideas and was mostly optimistic, so I decided to take a look at what she was offering. I started getting on her coaching calls and going to events and conferences and being around people who had a much brighter view on life and what was truly possible. It was also during this time that I started to ask for help from my own community and before I knew it I was able to trade services for life coaching, homeopathy and something called EFT (Emotional Freedom technique) and I began some counselling sessions. It was also at this time, that I started a "Law of Attraction" study group and started to learn about positive psychology and NLP. BUT I still had a lot of doubt.  

I was the kind of person who thought I could always do it on my own. I am an only child from a dysfunctional family and realized early on in life that I was probably going to have to take care of myself if I was going to survive. Even though in some ways this was a blessing I also learned early on not to trust people and watching my husband having an affair only proved to me that no one could be trusted. I had clearly decided at a young age that life was just always going to be a struggle and that nobody wanted me … but when I opened myself to coaching, mentorship and learning a new way to see life I discovered that these were simply old, unconscious programs in my mind and  because I believed these programs were truths, I actually manifested the things I feared most into my life. When I learned that there was a strategy to everything I did, I also realized that I could use the same strategy and apply it to a positive outcome. I also learned that the behaviour of a person is not "who they are" and that a behaviour can be changed. By simply finding an unconscious belief that no longer served what I wanted for my life, I could become more conscious of my knee-jerk reactions. I started to believe that I could change my unconscious belief systems which ultimately would change my behaviour, which ultimately would change my physiology and my actions, which would most likely change my circumstances.

I started to believe that things were going to change for the better… and they did! Within a short period of time my health improved dramatically and even though I was suffering from panic attacks, I felt like I had my life back on track. Within a few months I was also building a second stream of passive income, which allowed me to slowly start quitting some of my part time jobs and giving me more time freedom, financial flexibility and resources.

Because of this new flexibility, I was able to take courses and started to study something called NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). I made a commitment to take and complete these courses and within the first year of study I decided that my marriage could not be saved and I headed out to start my new life. 

It was incredibly difficult leaving behind my friends, who had become like family to me, my community that I had worked so earnestly to become a part of for over 10 years and be in good standing with, the other jobs that I actually enjoyed as well as leaving a business, a production company that I had co-built from the ground up, that was actually bringing in some actual revenue. I decided that I was more important than all of that. I was more than my identity, and taking care of myself, my needs, healing the relationships with my family, and fulfilling my bigger dreams to serve others, was now the direction I wanted to head in. 

And that has brought me here. Even though some days are still challenging, and when they are, I simply go back to that rock bottom place and remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind, heart and soul to and I remember how far I have come.

So if you are going through a tough time right now simply close your eyes put your hand on your heart and ask for help from your own INFINITE SOUL  or your GREATER SOUL FAMILY and watch closely as to who and what shows up. It may not appear in the form you wish for but I promise you, it's the person or opportunity that could be the stepping stone to your next best you. When we crack ourselves open, we can let the light shine on us… it may show you some "ugly" parts but I assure you, those parts can be healed, those parts can be loved and those parts be can be whole. 
The only risk in life is taking no risk at all. Go for it! 

PS: I don't ask angels or look for guidance outside of myself. I ask MY intuition, my Infinite Soul Being. I just don't trust entities outside of myself anymore. ;)